Saturday, February 25, 2006

EDUCATION ABOUT A PERSON WITH A HEAD INJURY

There is a person who is a regular attender at our church who has a head injury, who makes many feel very uncomfortable to be around because of the head injury, and who is therefore very lonely because of the head injury. So I wanted to do some education about a person with a head injury so that any who encounter someone suffering in this way can feel a little bit more comfortable. I work in a rehab unit with people who have head injuries, so I am very familiar with it. Head injury (also sometimes called Closed Head Injury (CHI), Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), or sometimes just brain injury) is the result of the damage done when a person is in an accident and either the brain is bruised by bouncing around inside the skull, or there is swelling in the brain as a result of the injury and the swelling itself does damage. A person can have physical, cognitive, or behavioral problems as a result. Usually you see deficits in all 3 areas. The physical usually manifests with some kind of paralysis or trouble controlling parts of the body. The person may limp, may have trouble using a hand, or may have trouble talking. The cognitive means that the head injured person cannot think as well as he used to. They often have trouble with memory, or perhaps the part of the brain that does math or reading is injured. The behavioral troubles are the part that makes most people feel very uncomfortable. Often a person is very socially inappropriate, maybe having trouble with any conversations with others, maybe interrupting rudely. Another common issue is that the person may be sexually inappropriate. Probably the most important thing to know is that the person is somewhat aware of what is going on, and they don't like it anymore than those who are feeling uncomfortable. They may have some problems in some areas, but not all of the brain is damaged, therefore they are not mentally retarded as a result. They are someone who was just like me and you before their injury and now they are coping with the fact that they are not and probably will never be the same. They realize ,after they have said something inappropriate, that they did it, and they hate the fact that they've lost that control over their body and thoughts. They are often embarrassed and ashamed of who they are, but this is not what God's Word teaches us! We can help them by giving much grace and by being honest and letting them know straightforwardly when and why they have made us uncomfortable.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

LIVING EXAMPLE OF SERVANT MINISTRY

George and Karen were married this past weekend. The church has had a good and long relationship with Karen for almost 3 years. Karen is a valuable member of the Body of Christ at Crossroads. She is also a woman who has had many needs, with which the church has had the privilege of helping. It is good for George and Karen to marry, but neither had the money to have a wedding. Sure they could have gone to a court house, but the church was able to give them a beautiful wedding where they could be reminded of the truth that it symbolizes to us Christ's pursuit of us. Over 20 people at Crossroads gave significantly to make their wedding happen. It was a joyous occasion. Flowers were given as a wedding present. A cake was given as a wedding present. Others put the flowers together, the reception together, the music together. On and on I could name tasks that were accomplished by different people. It was the most glorious picture of the Body of Christ working together to give and serve and minister to another that I have ever seen. Just how the Word describes it to look. And it was done with such joy - it was never a burden, but a fun role to play in the drama of life.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

HOW WELL DO THE WOUNDED FIT INTO THE CHURCH?

In most of the churches I know, then there are people who have troubles for sure, and they definitely know of the pain and strife of the world. But often I wonder how well does the person who has lived a hellacious childhood, or lived with evil done to them for a prolonged period of time, fit into certain churches? Often I think we aren't a place where these people feel comfortable. And these are people who are longing to know that there is a God for them to cry out to. But many churches don't reach these people because they have major walls around their hearts. What we wounded need when we have such a hard heart is to have someone pursue us with the relentless unending love of Christ, and it may take years for the gospel to penetrate. I remember learning from someone along the way in my Christian walk that I would pick someone good to invest my life into, by choosing someone who is FAT - Faithful, Available, and Teachable. However, many severely wounded do not appear as FAT and therefore we would not continue to invest in them. Then the severely wounded fall by the wayside, never getting to hear about the love of Christ for them. Do you agree?

Friday, February 10, 2006

ILLNESS

At my small church, there are at least 4 people with family members with cancer. I have a friend in town who just had her 2 year old son diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. I have two patients at work who have cancer and go to radiation treatment daily. And that's just the instances of cancer that I know about. Illness, pain , and death are a reality in this world, but we don't like to act like it. How much time do we spend trying to avoid pain in our lives? We want to distract ourselves or not pay attention to it. What about pain in others' lives? We don't really want to enter in to talk with and walk with them in their pain - we would rather not because it is so often messy with no clear cut answers. How much time do we spend living under the illusion that we can control life and rid it of pain? Let's don't run away. Its just not the truth. Also, then we cannot comfort one another. Also it doesn't glorify the Lord to run away from pain when he himself has been the Suffering Servant.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

A FEAR THAT GRIPS WOMEN

We women walk around almost constantly (whether we realize it or not) being concerned that we are too much. John and Stasi Eldredge talk about this in "Captivating", Jan Myers in "The Allure of Hope," and Angela Thomas in "Do You Think I'm Beautiful?," where each of these books deal with a woman's heart before God and her heart as it interacts with the Body of Christ. "Too much" means that if we really expressed our emotions and desires inside, then because they are so intense, no one would be able to handle us. We believe that its OK to let them come out once in a while to a girlfriend at a coffee shop, or to a family member, but if we acted in light of how we really feel all the time, then we would overwhelm others with the depth of our feeling, and we would be rejected. However, at the same time, probably one of our deepest longings is to be known for who we are and to be accepted and loved just for the real "us." We long to be listened to, to be heard. We long to be led by men to be all that we can be in the depth of our emotion. What I mean by this is that sometimes we can be invested in by a man who brings out the best in us, helping us to use this depth of feeling within to contribute something to the Body that no one else can contribute. I have such a relationship with my assistant pastor, and as he brings out the best in me and pushes me towards Christ, then I am more and more free to be who I am and embrace who I am. Of course there is a time and a place for intimacy and for vulnerability, but if we are rarely vulnerable then I believe that we are living a lie and are not living in the potential of our being as women. Often, instead of being who we are as women in the glorious feeling and emotion with which God has created us, we spend time doing things to distract ourselves. Doing instead of Being. We busy ourselves with tasks that can distract us from feeling. We busy ourselves with tasks so that we please others and so if the emotions come out then maybe they won't reject us because we have done good things. And all the while we miss out on the intimacy with the Lord and with his Body that we could be having from being who we truly are. Isn't this so often how we approach our Lord - being more concerned about finding our significance in others' approval or our performance than in the gospel? Christ does know the depth of our being and does love us completely - if we live in that freedom and assurance then we can contribute so much!

Friday, February 03, 2006

JUDGING OTHERS

The other day I was frustrated and condemning someone in my heart and mind. Then I saw clearly how I am just like her. She is a lady who came by our church to make contact with us because she lived just down the street. She came and spent a long time telling us how she wanted to be baptized and be a part of a church more than anything. She seemed very convincing and very sincere. She even brought her case worker to vouch for her. She also added in that she needed money for food. But that was hardly the emphasis of the conversation. She mostly discussed how she liked what she was hearing from us about the gospel and Jesus and wanted to learn more. Of course we were so excited to hear her response. But after months of pursuing her and getting the answer that she would be there for the ride to church, she would never show up. And so as I was saying the other day that it frustrates me that she would say elaborate things just to get some food money from us, I realized that I say elaborate things to God about how good I am, in order to try and earn his favor, and just like her, the elaborate things are not true. The truth is that I am a weak being dependent on the Lord God Almighty for any and everything, and there is no way I can earn his favor. And I don't have to. I have far more than I could ever earn through my Beloved Christ.