A FEAR THAT GRIPS WOMEN

We women walk around almost constantly (whether we realize it or not) being concerned that we are too much. John and Stasi Eldredge talk about this in "Captivating", Jan Myers in "The Allure of Hope," and Angela Thomas in "Do You Think I'm Beautiful?," where each of these books deal with a woman's heart before God and her heart as it interacts with the Body of Christ. "Too much" means that if we really expressed our emotions and desires inside, then because they are so intense, no one would be able to handle us. We believe that its OK to let them come out once in a while to a girlfriend at a coffee shop, or to a family member, but if we acted in light of how we really feel all the time, then we would overwhelm others with the depth of our feeling, and we would be rejected. However, at the same time, probably one of our deepest longings is to be known for who we are and to be accepted and loved just for the real "us." We long to be listened to, to be heard. We long to be led by men to be all that we can be in the depth of our emotion. What I mean by this is that sometimes we can be invested in by a man who brings out the best in us, helping us to use this depth of feeling within to contribute something to the Body that no one else can contribute. I have such a relationship with my assistant pastor, and as he brings out the best in me and pushes me towards Christ, then I am more and more free to be who I am and embrace who I am. Of course there is a time and a place for intimacy and for vulnerability, but if we are rarely vulnerable then I believe that we are living a lie and are not living in the potential of our being as women. Often, instead of being who we are as women in the glorious feeling and emotion with which God has created us, we spend time doing things to distract ourselves. Doing instead of Being. We busy ourselves with tasks that can distract us from feeling. We busy ourselves with tasks so that we please others and so if the emotions come out then maybe they won't reject us because we have done good things. And all the while we miss out on the intimacy with the Lord and with his Body that we could be having from being who we truly are. Isn't this so often how we approach our Lord - being more concerned about finding our significance in others' approval or our performance than in the gospel? Christ does know the depth of our being and does love us completely - if we live in that freedom and assurance then we can contribute so much!