Saturday, March 22, 2008

BEING SAD

Has it really been almost a month since I wrote last? Wow, you can tell that I was involved in relationship where I spent a lot of time focusing on that! I don't want to be the kind of person who lets everything go when I am relating to another, particularly a terrific man, but I also don't want to try to do everything I do as a totally single woman. That's then too much to cram into a life. However, just when I was fixin' to figure out how to maintain my blog with less time in life, that relationship got put on hold. And its just that, that relationship being put on hold, that I'm going to write about today.


I am sad that this relationship is on hold. And I have very very little faith, and so I doubt God's goodness at the drop of a hat. But whether I believe God is good or not, then this is a fallen world and is very sad at times. I encountered a few conversations this week where I was pretty sure that my friends were trying to make me un-sad - maybe because they'd rather believe that the pain in this world is less than it is? One friend suggested that I should not have entered into this relationship in the first place because of the potential for hurt. Well, yes I could stay a man hating hermit forever, but would that protect me from pain? No because this is a fallen world. Jesus hasn't returned yet and things are not as they should be. I think that my friends want me to not go into a tailspin of depression and that's why they offered alternative ways of thinking about this relationship not going the way I wanted it to. But see then that was un-solicited advice, which almost no one welcomes. I would much more appreciate them saying "Ann Louise, I don't want you to catastrophize about this - are there any words I can say to help you with that? " and then for them to say something that lets me know that they empathize with me in my sadness and that they are sorry that I hurt. That would be what I would welcome in the midst of my pain.