NEXT THYROID UPDATE

Well the thyroid surgeon today told me what I think might be the worst news she could have told me. The ultrasounds confirm that I have "thyroiditis" where my body is slowly killing my thyroid gland. It will continue to produce up and down levels of thyroid hormone as long as it is in me, causing up and down levels of energy. However, they will not take it out until it becomes cancerous or grows so big that it sticks out of my neck. It will do both, eventually, because that's what it does - it becomes cancer and grows really big. But she kept saying its just not indicated to take it out until it reaches those points. She said it may take months or years. But in the meantime I will continue to have fatigue off and on. I didn't get any work in Monday, two hours on Tuesday, and 4 today (although the visit did take 3.5 hrs of my day - who knows I might have had the energy to work more). Sh also said that maybe this is just a really bad week and I'll get more energy, but she said there's no guarantees. She's taking my blood levels to see if we can adjust my thyroid medicine and see if that would help. Meanwhile, I have to keep getting my blood drawn, US taken, and biopsies regularly until it turns into cancer. Oh and I'll have a biopsy Monday at 1 and then won't be able to work the rest of the day after that. But she said its only 10% chance that my mass is cancer because its still pretty small, so I probably won't get to have the surgery yet. Meanwhile, I'll keep missing work and every time I do then I get more behind in the work I owe my boss, more behind in making money to live off of, and in more health care debt every visit I go to. I feel like I should go ahead and quit work, move to living on the streets, and apply for disability. I don't know how I'm going to be able to make a living like this. I seriously use ALL my energy right now eeking out a few hours of work, which isn't enough anyway. I get up way early to start pouring coffee in me, and when I come home I practically climb right in bed. Sometimes its a choice of using my strength to take a shower or cook a proper meal, because there's often no way I can do both. I'm very discouraged tonight.