WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? QUESTIONS ABOUT COMFORTING OTHERS

Here's a true situation. D is going through a hard season of life right now. Much of her life has been really tough and she has had to struggle, and her church has been there and seen it. But she is also seeking healing and growth, unlike many of the struggling people that her church has helped. D doesn't feel like she cries wolf because even tho she cries for help often, each time it is sincere and a real need. Lately D has really suffered physically, emotionally, relationally, and financially. It seems like everything has hit at once. It culminated in 1 event that she was particularly dreading happening. As D has been struggling and as this dreaded event approached, she has let her friends and church know that she was having a hard time. However, during this season which has lasted 2 months up to the date of the event, during that dreaded day, and even these few days post, no one from her church has checked on her or offered encouragement. Her church is only about 230 people, however, the pastor, the elders, her small group leaders, her fellow small group members, and most of her friends have ignored her pain. One friend called once. That is it from her church. It reminds me of another surprising story - I have a friend at seminary who had to have elbow surgery and have his entire arm put in a cast. He asked for help for rides and stuff and most people ignored him. And no one at the seminary or at his church offered to bring him a meal even tho they could see him struggling 1-armed. And his case isn't messy like D's. One could enter into his struggling and actually have a quick fix.
Why are we so reluctant to enter in? If it was hammered from the pulpit would we just do it legalistically? Oh Lord change our hearts.