CRYING OUT TO GOD

What do you think about this letter?


I absolutely hate church lately and go as little as I can.~ Where the hell is the Holy Spirit who is supposed to be clinging to me?~ There is NO ONE who can and is or will help me stay close.~ What can mere man do anyway?~ NOTHING really.~ I don't know why I've even cried out to people lately, because they can't fix me.~ Only the Lord can.~ I've screamed out to him for years.~ And yet it seems he leaves me here all alone and with no joy or contentment or peace - all of which he has promised but doesn't seems to give. ~ ~Does he enjoy punishing me by dangling peace and joy on a string and then jerking it back?~ This the root of my pain and my issues - the fact that it appears that the Lord has just left me to be eaten by wolves so much of my life.~ That he appears to be a liar who says he cares and then doesn't seem to.~ This kind of rage I am feeling inside right now is what I feel when I am unstable and about to go off the deep end - but what can we do about it?~ I mean all the physical stuff possible is already being done - its just really slow healing and I don't know if I have the strength to fight the lies until I feel better physically and that's when I'm able to fight them.~ ~And emotionally, the pain and the stresses of life cannot be fixed easily.~ And spiritually I know if I hang in then God comes~ through for at least a second of time, and I can get a glimpse of joy or peace or contentment which will then motivate me to hang on for the next glimpse.~ ~That's the pattern - He does show himself every once in a while.~ And then its beautiful and glorious and amazing.~ It makes it seem all worth it to get a glimpse of the Lord.~ But then I don't get another glimpse for a very long time and meanwhile everything is so bleak and so hard and it drags, drags, drags me down again.~ I am entitled to the blessings and promises of God too right? I mean, Jesus died for me, so where is the joy that comes with that?


This is a real letter written by a real woman who is a strong believer. Do you think she crosses the line? Is she crying out to God honestly or is she demanding that God do things her way?